Chapter 13: Skills for Processing the Therapeutic Relationship

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Welcome back to The Deep Dive.

Today, we're embarking on a journey, really trying to master one of the most maybe courageous and transformative skills in counseling and psychology practice, it's all about unlocking the power of the here and now in your sessions.

And you know, it's kind of a shortcut to helping clients navigate their deepest challenges by understanding their relationships, starting with the one they have with you.

Right.

And what's truly fascinating about this skill, it's called immediacy, is how often we kind of shy away from direct emotional communication in our daily life.

Totally.

Yet in a therapeutic setting,

it becomes well, an absolutely crucial tool for growth.

Right.

So our mission in this deep dive is really to unpack this concept.

We're drawing heavily from Clara E.

Hill's helping skills.

And this is specifically for you, our future practitioners.

Okay.

We'll explore its theoretical underpinnings, walk through some practical applications, and really reveal why it's so vital for fostering insight and profound growth in your clients.

All right, let's dive into this essential skill, then.

It sounds like something that can profoundly deepen rapport and empower clients to understand themselves in ways they never perhaps thought possible.

So, okay, let's start right at the beginning.

What exactly is immediacy?

We're talking about like the art of in the moment communication in the therapy room.

Sounds straightforward, but I get the feeling there's a lot more to it.

There really is.

So immediacy occurs when helpers inquire about the client's feelings about the therapeutic relationship itself.

Okay.

Or when they, the helpers, disclose how they're feeling about the client, or maybe themselves in relation to the client, or just the whole therapeutic relationship.

So it's not just the helper leading?

No, not at all.

It's not just a one -way street.

Clients can initiate it too.

You know, maybe a client asks, do you feel like you truly understand what I'm going through?

Oh, okay.

The ideal scenario really is this authentic openness from both sides.

And for the insight stage of therapy, which we focus on a lot, this helps clients get a much greater awareness of how they come across.

Right.

How they seem to others.

Exactly.

Not just in the session, but hopefully, you know, it translates to their outside relationships too.

It seems like such a simple idea almost, but the implications feel huge.

I wonder,

does this kind of direct emotional wisdom,

does it have deep roots in therapy?

Oh, absolutely.

It really does.

John Bowlby, you know, the attachment theory pioneer, he captured the essence of this beautifully.

Way back in 1988, he said something that really sticks with you.

Let me see if I can get it right.

There are, in fact, no more important communications between one human being and another than those expressed emotionally.

Wow.

And no information more vital for constructing and reconstructing working models of the self and other than information about how each feels towards the other and then the kicker.

It is the emotional communications between a patient and his therapist that play the crucial part.

That's, that's profound.

It really underlines its importance, doesn't it?

It really does.

You can talk about feelings forever or you can actually feel them together in the room.

Can you give us an example, make it a bit more concrete?

Yeah, definitely.

A really perfect example comes from the case of Evita and her helper Angela.

Evita was, well, often angry and critical,

constantly finding fault with Angela, which understandably left Angela feeling inadequate and just deeply frustrated.

She actually started, you know, dreading their sessions.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, that sounds tough.

Very tough.

So Angela's supervisor picked up on this dynamic and suggested she try using immediacy.

Okay.

So in their next session, Evita criticized Angela again, this time for not using what she thought was the right feeling word.

And Angela decided, okay, this is the moment she chose to be immediate, took a breath probably and said something like, you know, right now I'm feeling badly because it feels like I cannot do anything right for you.

I feel frustrated because I don't know how to help you.

I wonder how you feel about our relationship.

Wow.

That takes guts.

Incredibly vulnerable and brave for Angela.

What happened?

How did Evita react?

It was a breakthrough moment, honestly.

Evita just immediately broke into tears.

Really?

Yeah.

She confessed that she felt like she pushed everyone away because she was terrified of rejection and abandonment.

And Angela's able to just listen,

reflect those feelings back, you know, being criticized, fearing rejection.

And together they realized Evita's pattern,

pushing people away.

It was playing out right there in the room.

The microcosm idea.

Exactly.

Just as it did in her outside relationships.

So that single moment of immediacy, it didn't just strengthen their therapeutic bond.

Yeah.

It gave Evita this profound real -time insight into her own relational patterns,

which, you know, is the first step to being able to change them.

It's just a powerful example of that real -time learning and connection.

That's an incredible story.

It really shows how the client's patterns aren't just something you observe from a distance.

They become something you feel and have to navigate like right there with them.

And this idea, this powerful connection, different theorists have given it different names.

That's right.

Yeah.

This core concept, it's been explored under various labels.

Keesler, back in the late 80s, early 90s, he called it metacommunication.

Metacommunication.

Okay.

And he really highlighted that it's when helpers disclose their perceptions and reactions to what the client is doing.

And crucially, it's distinct from other kinds of personal disclosures, like talking about your weekend.

Right.

It's about the process.

Exactly.

It's powerful because it offers a different response than clients typically get out in the world.

Instead of, say, just ignoring some awkward or maybe inappropriate behavior.

Which happens all the time.

All the time, right?

The helper gently and directly talks about its impact.

So it's about making the implicit explicit, shining a light on it.

Perfectly put.

And similarly,

Ivy, in 94, described it as being in the moment, really shifting the focus from just talking about past stuff to what's happening right now in the interaction between you.

Okay.

You might also hear these called process statements because, well, they address the immediate process, the dynamics of the relationship as it unfolds.

Got it.

So it's not just a general feeling or vibe.

Egan, you mentioned him too.

He broke it down even further, suggesting immediacy can focus on a few specific things within that moment interaction.

That's right.

He identified a few ways it can play out.

It can be about the overall relationship.

Like saying, it feels to me that we're getting along much better now that we've worked through some of that initial discomfort.

Or it could zoom in on a specific event in the session.

I was surprised when you said you appreciated the sessions because, honestly, I wasn't sure how you felt about our work.

Okay.

Pinpointing a moment.

Yeah.

And importantly, it can also be about your present tense personal reactions to the client.

Something like, I'm feeling a bit hurt right now because it feels like you reject everything I offer.

Right.

That sounds like it could overlap with other skills we've talked about, like self disclosure or challenging, maybe even feedback.

It definitely can.

But the key difference here is it's laser focus on the immediate relationship between helper and client.

Is that right?

Absolutely.

That's the core.

Yeah.

While it is a type of disclosure and it can feel like feedback or a challenge,

its unique function is to address the real time dynamics of this relationship right now.

It's about making those unspoken currents between you and your client visible and, well, discussable.

Okay.

So why?

Why is this skill so incredibly vital?

Why should we as future helpers take the risk of being so open and direct?

What's the big payoff for client growth?

It's a fantastic question and the rationale is really compelling.

Think of the therapeutic relationship as like a living laboratory.

Okay.

A microcosm of how clients relate to others out there in their lives.

So if your client, John, is always overly compliant with you, he's probably compliant with his boss, his partner, everyone.

If Susan comes across as arrogant and boasts a lot session,

well, she likely does that in other relationships too.

Ah, okay.

This gives you, the helper, first -hand evidence of their interpersonal style, stuff they might not even be aware of, or maybe they distort it when they talk about outside relationships.

So we're seeing their patterns play out right in front of us, unfiltered.

That gives us a unique window, doesn't it?

That's fascinating.

It truly is.

And Keisler and Cashtan also talked about something they called the hooking phenomenon.

Hooking?

Yeah, hooking.

Helpers can get hooked, meaning a client's maladaptive behaviors, like being really dominant or maybe hostile, can unconsciously push you into a very narrow, almost automatic range of responses.

Like a reaction.

Exactly.

You might find yourself wanting to be submissive if they're dominant, or even feeling hostile back if they're hostile.

I remember early in my own practice, I had this client whose intense anger would just make me feel physically tense, and my instinct was just to placate them, you know, smooth things over.

Wow.

Recognizing that hooking sensation, that feeling of being pulled, was a huge learning moment for me.

Ah, okay.

So you're unconsciously drawn into their relational dance.

You start experiencing what others in their life might feel around them.

Precisely.

But here's the power.

By becoming aware that you're feeling hooked,

you gain this incredible insight into how others probably react to the client.

Right.

And that awareness frees you up.

You can then choose to respond differently, more therapeutically.

You can offer the client a corrective relational experience.

A different outcome than they usually get.

Exactly.

And this ties directly into case conceptualization, helping you understand their underlying dynamics.

For instance, if you find yourself feeling bored in sessions,

instead of is the client unconsciously using boredom as a defense against intimacy,

it reframes your internal experience.

That's a really profound way to understand what's going on beneath the surface.

Beyond that, what other specific issues can immediacy help address?

Oh, it can tackle a whole host of things that pop up right there in the helping relationship.

Things like chronic lateness or being excessively talkative, maybe arrogance, passive behavior, even constant gift which can be tricky.

These are all interpersonal behaviors that can impact the therapy process.

And immediacy also helps make covert communication overt.

Like reading between the lines?

Sort of.

If a client says something vague, like no one can help me, it might actually be a subtle message directed right at you, the helper.

Ah, okay.

Like you can't help me.

Potentially, yeah.

Immediacy brings these unspoken, maybe unconscious messages out into the open where you can actually talk about them directly.

And I imagine actually resolving these kinds of issues in the session would be a really powerful model for clients.

It shows them how to handle tricky interpersonal stuff in the real world, like a safe practice ground.

Absolutely.

It's exactly that.

By openly discussing and resolving conflicts or tensions within the safety of the therapeutic relationship, clients learn it's actually possible to talk about feelings,

solve problems, and maybe even develop closer connections as a result.

Greenberg, Rice, and Elliott suggested that just encountering a real, authentic, caring human being in this process can be incredibly helpful for client growth.

Think about it out in the world.

Friends often avoid giving honest feedback about these dynamics, right?

Yeah, it's awkward.

Super awkward.

But in therapy, you can provide that crucial feedback in a safe setting.

It enables clients to become aware of how their behaviors affect others and then hopefully make different choices.

Okay, this is clearly a powerful, powerful skill.

But is there research?

Does the evidence back up its effectiveness?

Yes, absolutely.

The research consistently supports its benefits.

Kivley and Schmitz, for instance, found that therapist -client pairs that used more challenges and focused more on the here and now, well, they showed improving working alliances over time.

That's good.

Yeah.

And more recent studies, lots of work by Hill and her colleagues, have confirmed that immediacy is effective, especially for dealing with relationship concerns and for modeling appropriate openness.

So the evidence is there.

The evidence is there.

But, and this is important, it's also widely considered risky.

It can be damaging if done poorly.

Right.

Which just underscores the need for really careful, thoughtful, skilled application.

You can't just blunder in.

That's a critical point.

So how do you know when?

When is the right moment to engage in this kind of direct, potentially risky but powerful interaction?

Are there signs from the client or maybe cues from within ourselves?

Timing seems key.

Timing is absolutely crucial.

And you're basically looking for markers, signals that something feels a bit awry or maybe unspoken in the relationship.

Okay.

From the client's side, you might notice them seeming distraught or maybe unusually quiet or the opposite, overly talkative, perhaps more vague than usual or acting hostile or even overly friendly in a way that feels off.

They might also make these indirect references to other people that could subtly apply to you, the helper, like that no one understands me comment.

Right.

Which could mean you don't understand me.

Prudentially.

Or sometimes they might just directly confront you, saying something like I'm angry you were late today.

These are all cues that there might be something happening in the immediate relationship that's ripe for processing.

And what about our own internal compass?

As helpers, our own feelings must be important data points here, right?

Hugely important.

Your own internal reactions are equally, if not sometimes more, important.

Are you feeling bored,

angry, stuck,

incompetent, or maybe even overly prideful or brilliantly effective?

Especially if these feelings are really intense or unusual for you with this client.

Are you feeling perhaps sexually attracted to the client or feeling afraid and finding yourself wanting to avoid certain copics?

Are you noticing that you're not using skills from your repertoire that you normally would or that might be appropriate?

These are all really powerful helper markers.

And critically important here, this is where you absolutely need to consider how much of that feeling is due to your own counter transference.

Counter transference.

Right.

Meaning your personal, often unconscious, emotional reactions to the client.

Maybe you're rooted in your own past experiences, your own stuff.

It's vital to try and figure out when your feelings are primarily yours, not just a direct reaction to the client's behavior.

That sounds really hard though.

It can be tough for helpers, especially new ones, to admit those feelings, especially if they seem negative or unprofessional.

What are some self -reflection questions we can ask ourselves to tune into this stuff without judgment?

Yeah, it's vital not to judge these feelings.

Instead, try to cultivate curiosity.

Use them as information.

You can ask yourself things like, what am I truly feeling when I am with this client?

What does this feeling make me want to do or maybe not do?

What's stopping me perhaps from using skills that I actually think could be helpful here?

How does this client affect me compared to how other clients affect me?

And a big one, do I find myself blaming the client for how I'm feeling?

This is where supervision is just invaluable.

Hearing a supervisor admit, yeah, I felt bored or I felt attracted to a client or I felt really angry.

It normalizes these complex, sometimes uncomfortable human emotions for beginning helpers.

Right.

Takes the shame out of it.

Exactly.

It helps you understand the client's defenses better, like maybe seeing talkativeness as a defense against intimacy, not just annoying behavior.

And it helps you sort out how much is your counter -transference versus a reaction to the client's actual impact.

Okay.

So now that we know when to maybe consider immediacy, let's dive into the how.

The chapter outlines four specific subtypes, four ways to actually do immediacy.

These sound like practical tools.

They are.

Yeah.

They give you a framework.

The first subtype is open questions, probes about the relationship.

Pretty straightforward.

You're inviting the client to share their feelings directly about what's happening between you.

Exactly.

Sure.

Things like,

can you tell me what you're feeling right now about our work together?

Or maybe after you offer praise.

How did you feel just now when I said that?

Or even something broader, like what would you like

Okay.

So asking them directly, what's the second type?

The second is the helper statement of reactions to client.

This is where you express your immediate feelings or reactions.

But, and this is key, you usually follow it up by asking about the client's

feelings or perspective.

Right.

Not just dropping it on them.

No, definitely not.

So for instance,

I'm feeling very tense right now because you seem quite angry with me.

How does that resonate with you?

Or on the positive side?

You know, I felt much closer to you today when you shared your feelings so deeply.

I feel really moved by what you've said.

How has this been for you to share?

Okay.

So sharing your own internal experience, but then immediately turning it back to them, making it interactive.

What about making the unspoken spoken?

That sounds intriguing.

That's the third type.

Making the covert overt.

Here,

you're gently attempting to bring some indirect communication from the client out into the open.

If something just feels off, or there's a mismatch between words and body language, you might say something like, you seem a little annoyed right now.

I'm wondering what's going on.

Or I notice you keep looking at your watch.

I wonder if maybe you're eager for the session to end.

Ah, addressing the elephant in the room gently.

Exactly.

The goal is to address what's happening beneath the surface rather than letting it hang there and potentially fester.

Makes sense.

And the last one, relating it to their broader life.

That's drawing parallels with outside relationships.

This is when a client talks about issues they have with other people.

And you gently wonder aloud if those feelings or patterns might also be present in their relationship with you.

For example,

you mentioned earlier that you feel like no one really understands you.

I wonder if maybe you're feeling that I don't understand you right now.

Or you've said before that you get really upset if anyone criticizes you.

I wonder if you might be worried that I'm going to criticize you.

Connecting the dots between the therapy room and their life outside.

Precisely.

These subtypes give you a kind of a menu, a structured framework for navigating these nuanced interactions, making them feel a bit less daunting, especially when you're starting out.

Okay.

But using immediacy effectively.

It isn't just about, you know, blurting out whatever you're feeling or picking one of these types.

There's a real art to it, isn't there?

There are guidelines to make sure it's therapeutic and not actually harmful.

Absolutely critical.

There's a definite skill involved.

And a first crucial step is becoming really exquisitely aware of a client's nonverbal cues.

Those little signals that might indicate distress or a shift in the relationship.

Like what?

Well, Safran and his colleagues found that sensitive therapists are good at recognizing what they called ruptures.

Those subtle shifts.

Maybe change in tone, avoiding eye contact, fidgeting.

Okay.

While other therapists might miss those opportunities to address things and actually strengthen the relationship.

So for instance, if a client is talking fast, but seems to be avoiding emotion, you might gently say,

I can hear in your voice that something seems to be bothering you.

Or if they suddenly break eye contact, when you ask a certain question, you could note, I noticed a change in your body language just now.

I'm wondering if perhaps you're feeling uncomfortable.

So it starts with being really observant.

And honestly courageous too.

It goes against so many social norms, talking that directly about feelings in the moment.

It really does.

It requires immense self -confidence, a good degree of self -understanding and being non -defensive.

It takes courage because of those societal norms we have against direct emotional talk.

But, and this is vital, it must be rooted in deep compassion and empathy for the client.

Right.

It's not about you.

No, you're not taking their behavior personally.

You're trying to understand what's happening within them and what's happening between the two of you for their benefit.

And balancing that directness, that challenge with support seems key.

It can't feel like an attack, right?

Absolutely not.

You need to frame immediacy as a gentle collaborative exploration.

Like, Hey, let's look at what's happening between us right now.

Cause I think it might be important.

Show you're committed to understanding it together.

It could also be really helpful sometimes to educate clients about why you're using immediacy.

Explain the rationale, especially if direct communication like this is culturally unfamiliar for them, or maybe even considered rude or intrusive in their background.

That's a really important point about culture.

Huge.

And even after explaining, if they express discomfort, you need to respect their wishes.

You don't force it.

Okay.

And the language we use, especially when expressing our own feelings, that must really matter.

Critically important.

Yes.

Always, always use I statements.

Take responsibility for your own feelings.

I feel uncomfortable rather than blaming statements like you make me uncomfortable, or you talk too much.

Right.

Own your feeling.

Exactly.

It encourages a more open exchange and a model self -responsibility.

Think about that example where a client asks the helper to pray with them.

If the helper feels uncomfortable, instead of just shutting it down, they could say, you know, I feel a little uncomfortable praying the session because it's not really part of how I typically work.

But I wonder if we could talk about what prayer means to you and maybe what you were hoping we'd gain from praying together.

That's a great example.

It's direct.

It sets a boundary, but it's also really inviting discussion, not just shutting the door.

And it sounds like the goal isn't to tell clients what to do, right?

Not prescribing change.

Precisely.

You're not saying you need to stop doing that.

You simply point out your reactions, your experience of their behavior.

Clients then have more information about how their actions might affect others and they can choose how to behave.

And remember, your feedback is based on your perceptions.

Others might react differently.

Now, when it comes to expressing your emotions, especially strong, negative ones like irritation or resentment,

Summers and Barber suggests these are usually more about the helper's issues and are rarely constructive to just dump on the client.

Right.

Check yourself first.

Definitely.

First, become aware of the feeling.

Allow it.

Ponder it.

Accept it.

Then try to evoke compassion for the client.

Understand your own part in the dynamic and only use immediacy around those feelings when you genuinely think the client can tolerate it and it will be helpful, not harmful.

And it shouldn't just be a monologue, right?

You use immediacy.

You share something or ask something.

What's next?

It absolutely has to be two -sided communication.

Always, always ask clients about their reactions to what you've just said or done after you say, you know, I felt a bit uncomfortable when I ran into you on the bus yesterday.

You have to follow up with, how did you feel about seeing me outside this session?

Keeps the dialogue open.

Exactly.

It engages them in a discussion.

And what if the client responds by laying blame on you?

Yeah.

What then?

Use it as another opportunity for immediacy.

You could say something like, you know, hearing that I'm feeling a little attacked right now.

I wonder if maybe we could both take a step back and look at our parts in this interaction.

Turning it back into a process discussion.

Yes.

This validates their feedback because there's often a grain of truth, right?

But it also helps differentiate between genuine feedback about your actions and potential transference.

Transference again.

Yeah.

That's when the client is unconsciously projecting feelings or patterns from past relationships onto you.

Like if a client consistently sees you as critical, is it really about you or are they maybe re -experiencing feelings they had towards a critical parent?

Exploring both possibilities is valuable.

Okay.

So for students listening, maybe feeling a bit intimidated by all this, how can they begin practicing this without feeling totally overwhelmed by the risky aspect?

That's such a key question for training.

An easy, low stakes way to start practicing the spirit of immediacy is to use it gently to open and close sessions.

How so?

You could start a session with, so how are we doing today?

Checking in on the relationship or end with how was this session for you today?

What felt helpful?

Was there anything that didn't feel so helpful?

Inviting feedback.

Exactly.

And be genuinely open to negative feedback as much as positive.

Listen non -defensively.

And remember, immediacy isn't usually a one -off hit.

It's often an extended interaction, a conversation that hopefully moves towards some kind of resolution or deeper understanding.

Right.

It's also crucial for beginning helpers to understand that while you might not use full -blown high stakes immediacy right away in your initial client sessions,

your training environment is the perfect place to build these muscles.

Practicing those I statements in role plays with peers.

Talking openly with your supervisor about your real emotional reactions to clients, even the ones that feel awkward or unprofessional.

These are invaluable steps.

It's not about getting it perfect from day one, but about safely exploring the components and building your confidence and self -awareness.

That's a very practical, reassuring way to ease into it.

I think the example in our sources about the helper and client talking about routine hugging really brings this to life.

That's such a common boundary question.

It's a perfect illustration of using immediacy with both courage and compassion.

The helper initiated it carefully, right?

Saying something like, I have something I need to bring up with you that feels a bit uncomfortable for me to talk about.

Setting the stage gently.

Yeah.

At the beginning and end of each session, you often want to hug, and I've realized I don't feel comfortable doing that on such a routine basis.

The client, understandably, was initially hurt, explaining it felt natural in their culture.

The helper then used those crucial I statements.

I do feel close to you, and I really don't want to hurt our relationship.

I thought that talking about this could help us clarify our expectations.

It makes me uncomfortable feeling like I have to hug you each time.

For me, it doesn't feel professional.

Clear, but kind.

Exactly.

And this clear, compassionate explanation led to the client understanding better.

But the helper didn't stop there.

They immediately asked, how are you feeling about this now that I've shared my perspective?

Making it that two -way discussion.

Yeah.

Ultimately, it led to clarity, respectful boundaries, and actually strengthening their therapeutic bond.

That's a fantastic example of navigating a tricky situation well.

Okay, so this skill sounds transformative, but we also mentioned it's risky and difficult.

What are the common roadblocks that future practitioners, our listeners, might face when they actually try to implement immediacy?

That's an important reality check, because there are significant roadblocks.

One of the biggest is just plain fears.

Beginning helpers often fear intruding, getting it wrong, or making clients angry or upset.

We talked about Olivia, who initially reacted with anger when her helper used immediacy about her needing to be perfect.

But later, she acknowledged how accurate and ultimately life -changing that feedback was.

If the helper had held back out of fear, Olivia wouldn't have gained that crucial insight.

So, pushing past that initial fear of causing discomfort, even if it's gentle confrontation, is really critical.

It is.

Another common difficulty is not trusting your own feelings.

Helpers might think, oh, if I were a better helper, I wouldn't feel bored or angry or whatever it is.

And then they doubt their own internal reactions, dismissing really valuable data about the interpersonal dynamic.

Right, second -guessing yourself.

Exactly.

There's also just the sheer vulnerability involved.

It can feel frightening to talk so directly and honestly, especially if you're not used to that kind of open communication in your personal life.

This is where personal therapy and good supervision are just crucial, helping you process your own issues and anxieties around directness.

And in our wonderfully diverse world, I imagine that diversity issues add another significant layer of complexity.

Oh, absolutely.

It could be really challenging using immediacy with clients who are very similar to you or very dissimilar culturally, economically, gender -wise, you name it.

It can trigger complex emotions, maybe even biases or what helpers might perceive as politically incorrect feelings that they then feel ashamed of.

It's hard to deal openly and therapeutically with those concerns without practice and support.

And related to this, sometimes helpers can inappropriately use immediacy, not for the client's benefit, but unconsciously to meet their own needs.

How so?

Like maybe a recently divorced helper seeking affirmation or validation from an attractive client.

Mindfulness about your motivations and getting your own personal needs met elsewhere through friends, partners, your own therapy is absolutely essential to prevent this from muddying the therapeutic waters.

So being really, really self -aware about why you're doing it.

Exactly.

And finally, a practical point for beginners.

It's often hard to imagine using immediacy in the very brief interaction, sometimes typical of early training placement.

Right.

And honestly,

full -blown immediacy might not always be appropriate in very short -term client work.

However,

practicing the components, those I statements, asking for feedback, discussing your reactions with supervisors and peers about real situations, that practice is incredibly valuable.

One student mentioned how doing this in training made them feel much more confident about eventually using it appropriately with clients when the time was right.

Okay.

So wrapping this all up, what does this mean for our listeners?

We've taken a really deep dive into immediacy, clearly a critical skill for any aspiring counselor or psychologist.

We've seen it's about courageously engaging in the now, the immediate moment of the therapeutic relationship, whether that's by asking clients about their feelings towards you or by gently, carefully disclosing your own reactions.

It really is like a living laboratory for growth, isn't it?

It really is.

Yeah.

Immediacy or metacommunication, if you prefer, allows that therapeutic relationship to serve as that microcosm for the client's outside relationships.

It offers a safe space for them to become aware of their interpersonal patterns, maybe for the first time, and then actually enact change.

Right.

And the research backs it up, confirming its benefits for promoting client insight and growth and remembering to tailor your approach, being mindful of your own reactions, understanding things like transference and counter -transference.

Those are all key to using it effectively and ethically.

And while it definitely sounds challenging, demanding self -awareness, courage, deep compassion,

the ability to address what's truly happening between you and your client in that moment seems like a profound gift.

It's about empowering clients to understand their impact on others,

resolve conflicts constructively, and ultimately build more authentic connections in every area of their lives.

Imagine the ripple effect if every significant relationship in a client's life could benefit from even a little bit of this kind of honest, real -time feedback.

How profoundly might that shift the landscape of human connection for them?

That's a powerful thought to end on.

Thank you so much for joining us on this Deep Dive today.

From the Last Minute Lecture team, we really appreciate you taking the time to truly understand these vital helping skills.