Chapter 23: Trusting the Child, Trusting Oneself

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Welcome back everyone to the deep dive.

You know, today we're diving into something that I think is really, really important.

And that is this whole idea of appropriate education.

It's a phrase that gets thrown around a lot.

Yeah.

But what does it actually mean in practice?

Right.

Especially when you consider just how different each student can be.

Absolutely.

And you know, it's funny because I was just reading this quote by Alison Golden and it really resonated with me.

She said, trying to apply a one size fits all approach to education, particularly for like 17 year olds, is like saying that the kid who's having trouble understanding poison labels should just focus on factoring polynomials.

Wow.

Like it just highlights just how diverse those needs can be.

Yeah, it's like, you can't just assume everyone's at the same starting point or that they need to be pushed towards the same end goal.

Exactly.

And that difference becomes even more apparent, I think.

When we look at how we approach conditions like, you know, ADD in the North American education system, because there's often this kind of unspoken assumption that everyone's brain is wired to learn the same way.

And then when a significant number of kids don't fit into that mold,

we tend to label it as a problem within the child, right?

Right, right.

Like it's a medical issue or a behavioral thing.

But could it be that maybe the mold itself is the problem?

It's a really fascinating thought.

And I think it really is a bigger societal issue that gets sort of distilled down into this individual diagnosis.

Yeah, and so then if you think about it, what's the real end goal here?

Isn't it to help kids develop that ability to take ownership of their own learning?

Absolutely.

In a positive sense.

And how do we do that when you have all these other challenges that come into play, like hyperactivity, the struggles with attention, potential for low self -esteem that can manifest as defiance, social anxieties.

It's a lot for educators to juggle.

Absolutely.

And frankly, a lot of teacher training doesn't fully equip you for that level of diversity.

No, it doesn't.

And I think that that's such an important point you raise, because if you think about it, right,

the understanding of the human brain has just exploded in the past 10 years.

And teacher training, which often operates on these very established curricula, can struggle to keep pace.

So for you, the listener, it's important to know that sometimes a teacher's approach might not be the most informed.

And you being aware of that can advocate for the child in your life to make sure they're getting the best possible support.

My own, when I'm teaching high school, before I went into medicine, I see this so clearly now looking back.

My teaching style was very improvisational, not a lot of detailed planning, very much in the moment.

And some students thrived in that kind of environment.

They loved the open discussions,

the kind of going off on tangents.

But others who needed more structure felt lost, completely lost.

It was very teacher -centered, driven by my own instincts.

And I see that so much now in education, this tension between either being too free -flowing or too rigid, too structured.

Right, yeah.

And it's like the lesson plans, right, they're often driven by these curriculum mandates, not by the actual students sitting in front of you.

Exactly.

And so the emotional realities, the cognitive realities, they kind of get pushed aside.

And the kids with ADD are almost certainly left out of the loop in that kind of situation.

It's such a disconnect between that standardized curriculum and the unique needs of the kids in the classroom.

Yeah, and really it sets the stage for so many of the problems that we then try to solve.

But I have to tell you, I had this experience during my student teaching that I'll never forget.

Okay.

It's back in 1969.

I was assigned to this grade nine class.

Wow.

And they were basically labeled as the school rejects.

Other student teachers had tried and failed.

The regular teachers, they were exhausted.

Yeah.

Nobody wanted to deal with them.

Okay.

And my assignment was to teach them map making.

So one morning,

total whim, I brought in every musical instrument I could find.

Guitar, castanets, recorders, pots and pans.

I even brought a candle.

And I asked my supervisor, I said, where can we make some noise?

And he pointed to this woodworking shed.

So I marched them all out there, handed out instruments, lit the candle and I just started playing the guitar

and they all joined in.

It was completely spontaneous.

I told my supervisor he could either play or leave.

And he left.

That's amazing.

We spent an hour, just this incredible musical chaos.

It was amazing.

Wow.

Ended with them dancing on the roof of the shed.

No way.

Not a single word about schoolwork.

But you know what?

The next day when I started the map making unit, they were totally engaged.

Wow.

My supervisor was floored.

That's incredible.

I think what's so fascinating about that is that you intuitively tapped into something that they clearly needed, right?

This pent up energy that they probably had to suppress in a normal classroom, you provided the safe space for it and that act alone seemed to open them up to learning.

Yeah.

And for the listener, it might sound counterintuitive, but think about it.

Sometimes acknowledging and working with a child's energy rather than just constantly trying to suppress it can make a world of difference.

Absolutely.

And I realized I just liked them.

I enjoyed their energy.

I wasn't threatened by it.

Yeah.

And that experience really shaped my thinking about education and ADD.

And it led me to believe that there are these general principles that can be really helpful for teachers working with students who have ADD traits.

I wanna emphasize these are principles.

They're not techniques.

Right.

Because the techniques will vary depending on the individual child and the teacher's style.

But the underlying principles I think are essential.

And the very first one, the most critical one I think is do no harm.

Absolutely.

And it's funny because it directly parallels the Hippocratic Oath in medicine.

Yeah.

Primum non nociere, right?

First, do no harm.

And as teachers, we hold so much power.

And I think we often forget that power can be used to inflict emotional wounds as well.

Absolutely.

You know, a careless word, a public humiliation.

These things can have a huge impact, a lasting impact.

Think about the stories that adults with ADD often share about their school years.

Yeah.

It's heartbreaking.

Yeah.

The memories of humiliations, the sarcastic remarks from teachers they just cut so deep.

Yeah.

The punishments for things they literally could not control.

Right.

It's crucial for teachers to remember that a child with ADD often already feels disconnected from those important adults in their life.

And they often carry so much shame.

And underneath that defiant behavior, so much of the time, there's just this really fragile sense of self -worth.

Absolutely.

And you know, they may already be dealing with social rejection from their peers.

So to then be repeatedly shamed for mistakes, for inattention, for struggling to follow instructions, or even for something like messy handwriting, it just reinforces that negative self -image.

Absolutely.

And I think for a teacher listening, this principle, do no harm,

really asks you to reflect on your own interactions with students.

Yeah.

Especially the students who you find yourself reacting negatively to.

Yeah.

Because unless it's just a general personality issue that you have, it might be a clue that this child is struggling with something like ADD that you're not recognizing.

Yeah.

I remember this case from my practice.

This little girl, Karen, she was in grade three.

And her teacher, I remember her telling me this story.

The teacher said, and for the whole class, the class will now wait until Karen returns to Earth.

Oh my goodness.

And you know, in the service, it might sound almost funny, but that little girl went home just sobbing, convinced her teacher hated her, that the other kids were laughing at her.

And for any child, that's painful.

But for a sensitive, insecure child with ADD traits, it can be absolutely devastating.

And you know, Nina Richie's novel, In a Glass House, it paints such a vivid picture of this.

The young student trying desperately to focus on his schoolwork, his exercise book filled with errors, even after the teacher has explained it over and over again.

And in frustration,

the teacher rips the pages out of the book.

It's just, it's heartbreaking.

It really is.

And that feeling of just the world slipping away, even when you're trying so hard to pay attention.

It's a powerful illustration of that internal struggle and how negative teacher responses can just amplify the pain.

And it really highlights how you as the teacher, if you're finding yourself repeatedly getting frustrated or irritable or blaming a child for certain behaviors,

maybe it's time for some honest self -reflection, because it could be a big clue that this child is dealing with ADD that's not being recognized.

And that self -reflection naturally leads to our second principle, which is the importance of working with the parents.

You know, it's interesting how teacher training and even medical education haven't always included a deep dive into ADD.

Yeah, it's true.

So you end up with this inconsistency in how it's understood and addressed.

And yet it's often the classroom teacher who's the first to really observe the patterns and think, wait a minute, something's going on here.

The teacher really is on the front lines, but it's so important for the teacher to remember.

Their role isn't to diagnose, that's the job of a medical professional.

The teacher's role is to document what they're seeing, the patterns of behavior, the specific learning difficulties, and then approach the parents with their concerns in a spirit of partnership.

Say, look, I'm seeing this, I'm wondering if you're seeing this too.

How can we work together to support your child?

It really should be a true partnership between the school and the family to figure out what's best for the child.

And that means for the listener, if you're a parent, be open to those conversations.

Don't see it as an accusation, see it as a collaboration, because the parent should never be viewed as the sole cause of the problem, or simply as an enforcer of school rules at home.

And I feel very strongly about this.

It's completely inappropriate for schools to pressure parents into medicating their children.

Yeah, I agree.

If medication is even a consideration, that's a decision that should come from a suggestion for the parent to talk to their doctor.

Exactly.

To explore all the options.

But it should never be a prerequisite for attending school.

Absolutely not.

And I think this goes back to that fundamental question, who are we trying to teach?

Yeah.

That has to come before what are we trying to teach.

Exactly.

Our methods, the structures we create, they need to be responsive to the diverse needs of the students.

And especially with ADD, we need to think about adapting the schools to the students, not the other way around.

Yeah, it really comes down to that flexibility, understanding, and willingness to adapt.

Which leads us to our third principle,

ADD specialists.

We can't expect every family doctor or every classroom teacher to be an expert in ADD.

Right, we can't expect every medical professional or teacher to be a specialist in everything, but they should be able to recognize it.

Yeah, a basic understanding is important across the board.

Absolutely.

But for true expertise, you need specific training and experience.

And this is where I think school districts have a responsibility.

There's no reason other than finances why every school district shouldn't have trained resource personnel.

Specialized teachers, school psychologists, consultants, aides, who can assess and support the needs of kids with ADD.

Yeah, and those specialists can make such a difference.

For kids with significant hyperactivity, for example, sometimes having that one -on -one support can be the key to helping them integrate into the classroom.

Yeah, and I think for a school administrator listening, while hiring specialized personnel might seem like an added cost.

Think about the long -term benefits.

Reduce stress for everyone.

A more positive learning environment for all the students.

It's an investment, not just an expense.

And building on that foundation of support, our fourth principle is about keeping attachment needs in the foreground.

Teachers who can cultivate that warm, non -threatening connection with students with ADD traits, they're likely to see fewer disruptive behaviors and longer periods of focused attention.

It's about making the relationship the priority, even over the academic goals in the short term.

Right, because a child who feels seen, understood,

safe,

they're gonna be much more receptive to learning.

Exactly.

Now, of course, we have to be realistic.

No teacher can fully meet every child's attachment needs in a busy classroom, and we're not trying to cure ADD.

But even those small daily interactions, the kind word, a genuine smile, that moment of focused attention, it can make a huge difference.

Absolutely, it builds trust, it creates a sense of safety for the child.

And speaking of fundamental needs,

our fifth principle is to allow ample time for play and creative expression.

It might seem obvious, but there's this really worrying trend in some parts of education to devalue play.

I've even seen articles about schools being built without playgrounds.

Oh, wow.

This idea that recess and unstructured play are just a waste of time.

Yeah, and it completely ignores all the research showing how important play is.

Yeah, cognitively, socially, emotionally, physically, play is essential.

Absolutely, and especially for kids with ADD, they don't need less play, they often need more.

Yeah, you know, my experience with those school rejects really drove that home for me.

Those kids had all this pent -up energy, but when we gave them a creative outlet, it was amazing to see how that energy could be channeled in positive ways.

It's not about forcing external motivation, it's about unlocking the intrinsic motivation.

Exactly, and when we think about creativity in this context, it's about valuing the effort, the intention, not just judging the end product.

A child who feels supported in their creative endeavors,

they're gonna naturally want to improve.

Yeah, the motivation comes from within, and it's such a shame that arts programs are so often the first to get cut when budgets are tight.

I know, I actually heard a program on the radio recently where they were debating whether the arts are even necessary in schools.

Wow.

I mean, we're even having that conversation is so sad.

It really is, especially for kids with ADD.

Taking away those creative outlets is like closing off a crucial channel for them to express themselves and learn and grow.

Absolutely.

Now, our sixth principle is about adjusting exam and homework expectations.

We need to recognize that a timed exam for a student with ADD might be more a test of their ability to perform under pressure than it is of their actual knowledge.

Because when you're under stress, the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for planning and impulse control and attention, it can actually malfunction.

Yeah, so a lower grade on a timed exam doesn't necessarily mean they don't understand the material.

It might just mean their brain is struggling in that high pressure situation.

And more importantly, their performance on a test doesn't necessarily reflect how they can apply that knowledge in the real world.

Exactly, that's why offering flexible exam conditions like extended time or a quiet space can make such a difference.

It allows for a much more accurate assessment of what the student actually knows.

And in the US, a lot of places already mandate these kinds of accommodations, even at the university level.

But in Canada,

we're a bit behind on that.

And those same considerations apply to homework.

We have to remember the brain differences in kids with ADD.

Rigid expectations around homework can set them up for failure.

Yeah, it can lead to the cycle of discouragement and feeling inadequate.

So if you're a parent listening,

maybe advocate for more reasonable homework loads.

Focus on quality over quantity.

Absolutely, and schools can't just rely on parents to handle everything at home.

Even if individual exceptions are tricky, a more general relaxation of rigid homework rules might be necessary.

It wouldn't hurt any of the kids in the class.

It's about finding that balance between encouraging responsibility and acknowledging the real challenges these kids face.

Exactly, and this brings us to our final and I think most profound principle,

trust.

Trusting the child and trusting yourself.

I got some really insightful feedback on an earlier version of this material from Mary Watson, a very experienced early childhood educator.

Oh yeah.

She pointed out that while teachers can't provide the same unconditional love as a parent,

simply understanding the student can be transformative.

She called it attentive attention.

Just really seeing the child without judgment.

Yeah, that's powerful.

Just recognizing their strength, their struggles.

And her point about trust really resonated with me.

Trusting the child to do their best, even when it doesn't look like it.

And trusting your own experience and intuition as an educator.

Absolutely.

Letting go of the shoulds, the need to cure or fix.

A teacher who understands ADD can best support these students by helping them find their own way, their own unique way of learning and being in the world.

Because ultimately there's this natural drive within each of us to learn and grow.

And in education and in medicine really, our role is often not to interfere but to observe, to guide, to support that natural unfolding.

So to sum it all up, we've explored these seven key principles for creating a more supportive and effective learning environment for students with ADD traits.

First, do no harm.

Second, work collaboratively with parents.

Third, utilize ADD specialists.

Fourth, keep attachment needs front and center.

Fifth, allow time for play and creative expression.

Sixth, adjust exam and homework expectations.

And finally,

trust.

Trust the child and trust yourself.

These principles really call for a fundamental shift in perspective.

Moving away from that rigid, one size fits all model of education and embracing the amazing diversity of learners in every classroom.

Understanding the child, fostering trust, nurturing their creativity, those are crucial steps in the right direction.

And it really leaves us with a big question, doesn't it?

What if our entire education system embraced the diversity of neurological wiring in all learners, not just those with a diagnosis?

What potential might we unlock if we stopped focusing on a single normal brain and instead celebrated the unique ways in which each individual learns and contributes?

It's a really profound thought and I think one that's worth pondering.

Absolutely.

Thanks for joining us on the Deep Dive.

Thanks for having me.

Until next time, keep diving.

Keep diving.